Monday, May 14, 2012

I cannot believe that 2012 is nearly half over, I cannot believe I'm eight days away from completing my Junior year, I cannot believe how different my life is. I'm not sure how I feel about everything and the changes and what not, but I know for a fact I'm going to do everything in my power to make the best out of every situation, no matter how hard it is. Or atleast that's what I'm convincing myself right now because it's so nice out. I'm always more positive when the sun is shining, so as long as it stays sunny forever, nothing will ever touch me again, and everything will be okay, right? Right.

Never in a million years would I have guessed this is where I'd be today. I always love thinking about things like that, sometimes it really hurts to, other times it fills me with happiness.
When I was a little kid I thought music was dumb, well, at least music class. In fifth grade they'd make me go three times a week, and sing awkward songs. I remember promising myself I'd never take music once I was given the choice. But when sixth grade came along I joined choir, and it was literally the best decision of my life. Here I am nearly eight years later, I've made it to the top choir of my school, we're going to New York next April, there are two choirs in my schedule, and I've been in one ever since that first day of Middle School. If I went back in time and told nine year old Ally, "Hey, you're going to be taking TWO musics when you're seventeen." I'd probably punch future Ally in the face.

There are literally seven thousand other examples as to where I thought my life would be, and how I've been so pleasantly, and sometimes not so pleasantly surprised. But all I know is that this is life, and it'll keep moving. Sure, I'm really not one to talk. I over worry and stress, I have never been okay with what I've looked like or who I was, I haven't been able to keep anyone around for too long, and a number of other things that never leave my mind and drag me down every day... but you just kind of have to bulk up and make the best of whatever the day throws at you. And "bulk up" doesn't mean puffing up your chest and appearing strong. It could mean dedicating a day to crying and napping, just as long as you're staying on top of what you need to stay on top of. Just... do what feels right. And when you can't do what feels right, do what you can.

I'm making no sense. I don't know, I'm going to go walk around outside because the sun is calling my name.

1 comment:

  1. My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday. I know, "Wehhh your boyfriend broke up with you, suck it up." But we've been dating for a year and a couple days. I just can't get over the fact that he actually just dumped me like that. Out of nowhere. I mean, obviously there was somewhere to begin with but I had no idea. Well, you brought me about 25% more courage to go through the day, see him and not cry, and just get through it. You always had a way of making me smile. Thanks a bunch.